We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.
Helen Keller
It is said that patience is a virtue, and it happens to be one of the virtues I am not known for. When I get an idea, I want to manifest it immediately – and the thought of having to wait, or sit in the “unknown” is terribly uncomfortable.
After about a two months of work, I’ve finally move into my new home. My daughter and I are making it our own, it’s a bit of a “girlie” space with pinks and oranges splashed around. The space is in the basement, so there isn’t a lot of natural lite – and I find, while white walls brighten it, the joy comes with the splashes of colour!
There have been ups and downs all the while – I’ve had to give up a certain way of living, – including independence – to move back into an adult parent/adult child dynamic, to find my bearings once again.
One of the main things that has been on my mind lately is what to do about Winston. He lives at a farm that is only a 12 minute drive from my former home. He’ll be about 40 minutes from my new home, which makes the trip out to see and work with him into a more significant commute – being more than an hour round trip. He waits by the fence at the time of day I usually come by. He waits, patiently for me.
The urgent-mindedness of my personality, wants to have all of this sorted out right now. When can I move him? Where can he live that’s closer? I jumped on searching, I jumped on trying to figure it all out. Then, a friend of mine who I asked about boarded said “do you think it would be ok if you focus on moving and settling in right now, and then start to think about what to do with Winston?” Hmmm. Yes. Yes I can. I am willing. More than anything, I want to be with him, and in an ideal world that would mean finding a house where he could be in my backyard. And…that’s part two of the patience…it may to take even more time to make that happen. In the meantime – I get to keep learning from his current farm owners, and being life-long horse people, there is still much for me to learn from them!
So, for now, I sit with patience, when the feelings of impatience surface, I notice it in my body, usually it starts in my stomach and rises into my chest – I sit with it. I journal about it. I acknowledge that it usually points to something that really matters to me, that I really want. Then, I remind myself, if it is FOR me, then I can’t miss out. Even if I have to wait.
